omg. one word. BEAUTIFUL.
Oh man. Yangyang is perfection. Crystal Liu too. Omg. This is some more than perfection already. I can’t wait for July to come!!!!! The 颜值 of the movie is seriously too damn high it’s going to explode and shoot right up into the heavens. Omg I feel like crying cause I still have to wait so damn long and it’s going to be at most 2 hour plus. Oh man. Although the drama version is already v nice, I am still going to support the movie cause of my one and only love. He is my 男神 and nobody can replace him in my heart. I even bring him around everyday in my staff id case. It’s like when I am feeling stressed or sian or sad or angry I will just look at it and then everything will become alot more ok. Hahahahha. I think my boss might vomit blood if he finds out what I have been doing lol.
And so I digress. This post was actually meant to be about the last day of my first year of work. It didn’t really feel v special like there wasn’t really a feeling of closure (to my status as a first year employee 一年目／新入社員 as they like to call us). It feels totally different from school cause there’s always the kind of ‘new beginnings’ feeling at the start of every school year. Like I will be excited and pack my bag, pencil case and blah blah blah (even when I was a uni student lol). I don’t really know why but maybe it’s cause there wasn’t any holidays, or maybe cause there’s no new start since I am going to still be doing the same thing next Monday or rather continue doing the experiments from today. It’s kind of sad cause I really like the ‘it’s a new year’ kind of feeling. Oh wells, I guess I got to experience that during new year day and fiscal year is not such a big thing. Hahahha.
Looking back at the past year, everything just passed so quickly; I didn’t have the time to register things/events that happened. It’s like everything ended as quickly as it started. The first 2 months at training, next 2 months at the first factory, next 4? months at the next factory, weeks back at home and 3 months back to work. Everything was so damn fast. I would like to think that I’ve grown as a person (since work is totally different from school) but at the same time maybe a bit too slow cause I am still v unfamiliar with alot of things at work. I guess I still can’t complete my tasks alone. I really dislike asking for help cause I really want everything to be under my control and I can do whatever I want to whenever I want to. But asking for help (I don’t know if it’s because it’s Japan or just work culture in general) is really v troublesome especially when the other person is a busy person/someone of higher status (in the company)/someone more senior than you and basically for me the third one applies to almost all the people I work with since I was, I still am as for today, in my first year. Hopefully I can get use to it and be cooler when I ask for others’ cooperation (like don’t be Jap-like and beat abt the bush cause it’s seriously a fucking waste of time imo) and just heck the culture.
But then again, the working environment at my office is already quite good (as compared to other offices in the company/other companies in Japan?? I don’t know) cause apparently seniority matters alot more in other companies and we actually get to speak up (and even encouraged to speak up) and our opinions don’t get ignored. I guess this is a v good thing if not I will be so stressed if pple just dao my opinions. I don’t mind if pple reject my ideas but it’s quite important for me to know why I kena rejected so that I know what’s wrong. If not it’s quite pointless for me to think about anything (since I am going to get ignored anyway). Lucky this company is not like that.
But due to the lack of motivation (for self improvement), I don’t think I learnt alot, or got more professional (workwise and researchwise) and it’s actually tad bit disappointing (ya, I get disappointed with myself all the time but I do nothing bout that). Maybe (just maybe) I will try abit harder in my second year? (yes I will right?)
Aiya don’t know don’t think too much don’t care, I shall go slack and watch young handsome boys.
Cause I went home on time. No OT again. Don’t know why but recently I really not in the mood to work. Like I just feel v v sian like everything seems v pointless. Haix. I really need some meaning in life if not I also don’t know I work for what, don’t know I do experiments for what. Sounding like an angsty teenager now. Maybe I am just lonely now cause I’ve been rather antisocial like how recently I go out alone. It’s time to be more sociable since spring is coming and I am also getting out of hibernation.
And I really need to start running soon cause there’s gonna be a marathon one month later and guess what, it’s compulsory so me. Sian. Cause the first year is compulsory one. Alot of people only join in their first year and after that they just say they cannot go. Hahaha. It’s like a 4-pple relay and 2 pple have to run 2.2km and the other 2 3.7km. And you know how it works right, first year means you have to run 3.7km. Seriously fml. I couldn’t even run 2.4km last time then now ask me to run 3.7km. Crazy buggy.
But not matter how much I complain about it, I will still have to join them so better train abit first if not v v v throw face if I too cmi (which I think I still will be cause 3.7km is really too much). If you tell me to slowly run at my own pace, I guess it’s still ok and I will be like run walk run walk, but the thing is it’s a freaking relay with so many pple joining and it will be seriously throw face if I walk a lot. Okok nvm. I shall relax and just try to train abit.
Recently I have been preparing food to work cause I really don’t like the food at work. Hohoho. But I think I prepare lai prepare qu also the same kind of dishes so maybe I will have to do some research this weekend and see whether got new stuff for me to try out. And making lunchbox is actually a rather difficult thing cause I will have to try to bring stuff that will not 1. spoil easily, 2. taste horrible if eaten later, 3. taste horrible when cold, 4. have alot of sauce. I guess so got other things to think about but I cannot really remember now.
Shall go do my laundry now!
This blog post is going to be about 红豆, but 此红豆非彼红豆. But I thought of this phrase for 相思豆 so I just anyhow use it as the title for this post. Hahaha. The 红豆 I am going to talk about is the one we can eat and why so random blog about it is cause I realized recently I have started liking つぶあん although I used to dislike it cause of the texture. つぶあん is apparently ‘mashed red beans’ and the other one is こしあん, which is ‘smooth read beans’. Basically こしあん is they grind until v smooth and つぶあん is the grind until so got left abit of the skin of the bean. I always chose こしあん last time cause it’s like creamy but recently I realized that つぶあん compliments whipped cream v v well cause the texture is different for the two cream. Hahahha. Actually it’s cause of this donut with whipped cream filling that I am addicted to. They got 2 flavours, normal whipped cream and matcha whipped cream and both are super yummilicious. Oh man. I just ate one for supper. I think I am going to get another one tomorrow or on Fri! Recently I keep wanting to eat sweet stuff.
So tired cause I have been sleeping late. Shall stop myself from reading xs at night. I just cannot put down my phone after starting so I just read until like one plus although I have work in the morning the next day. Oops. I started reading again.
Although it’s still Tuesday (meaning that it’s still the second day of the week), I am feeling really sian and lazy. I just don’t feel like doing anything anymore cause it’s so damn sian. Oops. How come like that. I think might be cause of big aunt and lack of sleep and pimple outbreak and sensitive lips. So many (small) problems. And I’m totally not in the mood to work at all cause I keep thinking about my Sunday date with ah yue and jing. I get really eggcited cause I love hanging out with ny/hc friends. There’s like so many things to say even though we meet like <once a year. Hahaha. And our wavelengths the same one so it’s like super fun even if we just lame around. I guess background is v impt when it comes to relationships. It’s super hard for me to click with Jap friends (especially my batchmates from work) cause we have totally no common topic. Like for uni friends, we can still talk crap about this teacher that classmate those lessons and stuff like that, but it’s like we only spent 2 months together (I mean batchmates from work) and after that we can totally don’t see one another one cause we are all in diff departments/factories/and even prefectures.
Or maybe just that I never really put in much effort to bond with them. But cannot blame me cause the backgrounds are just too different for me and them. At least, they are all Jap and v familiar with Jap culture/jokes and stuff. I really cannot get their jokes and I think they don’t get mine. I try to think I am a rather funny person (at least when I’m in a good mood) but I guess I just cmi with them lol.
Sorry for whining about my failed relationships over here in Jap. But at least I have good Jap friends too. Hahahha. Shall ask them out after they settle down with their work cause most of them are starting work this April, which is next week.
I refuse to use the hashtag fatmedie cause it should be fatmelive! I feel bloated everyday cause I just feel like eating and eating it’s like my month just cannot tahan having nth in it for too long. Maybe it’s just craving for young grass again. Oh no. Anyway it’s gonna be the end of March soon and I AM GOING TO PLAN WHAT TO DO DURING GOLDEN WEEK! I am not going to allow myself to rot at home. NO WAY JASMINE. YOU ARE NOT GOING TO ROT YOUR LIFE AWAY IN THE SMALL TEENY WEENY ROOM IN THE DORMS. So, I am going to plan early (though it’s already quite late) and try to find sth to do during golden week (although 99.98% chance I am going to rot in the room and the decrease from 99.99% is cause I typed in CAPS).
I think spending my day with ah yue ytd managed to make me even weirder than usual. But ya, I need a life. Really wanna enjoy myself in tohoku but there is no one to go there with me! I am sad. And sadder. And saddest. Hahahaha. How arh how arh. I need someone with a license to drive me around. Times like this make me a bit down.
Someone please play with me during golden week pls!
Nuaing is the best thing in the world! Heehee! I just ate and slept today I think I am ready for the last week of March (maybe not). Anyway, it’s time for fresh grads to enter the company again and they will be here for two months for training. Haix. This means that those fresh energetic chirpy grads will be staying in the same dorm for two months. Hopefully they won’t be too havoc lol. I bet the seniors were v sian when our whole batch was here for training last year. To defend myself I wasn’t noisy nor havoc ok. Hahaha.
Anwyay means that one or two of them might be joining my current office in two months (in june after their training) and hopefully there will be one handsome boy hahha (what are the chances man).
Omg why so havoc?!?! Why is it snowing at the end of march!!! Zzz. No wonder it became so cold suddenly. I swear the weather’s out to kill me man. Can’t believe it’s gonna be less than ten degrees the whole day tmr. I think I’m going to freeze and become ice cube.
I just realized I forgot to blog yesterday lol. But I don’t really feel guilty about it probably cause I really don’t have anything to say. But anyway I think I gained weight cause I can feel my tummy weighing more now. I think it’s cause I eat super a lot of choco during work. And I think I got alot of pimples also. Chocolates are dangerous.
Freezing. Don’t know why today suddenly v cold again.
Oops. It’s already quite late but I am still snacking away. And recently I am not v motivated to blog cause like nobody’s reading my blog anymore. Hahaha. Probably cause I v no life recently. Recently my blog posts are like Mon: whining, Tues: work, Wed: go home early, Thurs: yay one more day, Fri: new show/novel I reading, Sat: more about said show/novel, Sun: still about said show/novel (or maybe about some handsome actors?). So predictable.
How how how? I need to do some interesting thing if not I might just rot and decompose. Wanna go on a solo trip somewhere but I have no more holiday and public holidays are just too crowded. And also I can’t drive so I cannot visit all the got mountain got river places. Public transport abit inconvenient in the ulu places but I think I am only interested in the ulu places. I realized I am a v countryside kind of girl cause I have close to zero interest in movie theatres, shopping malls, art galleries, bars and those urban urban places to play but I just like to stroll along the river, take pictures, look at mountains, breathe the fresh air. Hopefully I can get to find some secret place not v famous yet so that I can have my little solo trip during the golden week holiday at the end of April. Golden week is always v not golden for me cause I really have getting ard when it’s freaking crowded.
Tuesday blues. I always thought it was a Monday thing cause I have been feeling that way for quite long liao. But I realized that it’s just a first day of the week thing cause today I was also feeling quite sian the whole day and I had to psycho myself into thinking that today is a happy day. And the rain didn’t help make things feel better. But anyway things got much better after I got myself a packet of donuts and ate all 3 up. I guess that’s the good thing about being a glutton. Food makes everything ok, i
mean, GREAT!!!! Oops, sounding like a psycho now cause of the emo start and high tension now. Hahahha. I would have taken a photo of it if I were allowed to take photos in my office. What kind of genius pack donuts in 3s! Just the perfect amount to make me happy. And after eating, as the health conscious person I am (I swear I am!), I checked the calories taken and I realized that the 3 donuts total up to 600kcal. Oopsie. But 600kcal for good mood is v v worth it. (Maybe I will buy it tomorrow or I can also try that other one with 4 melon pans in a pack and only S$2 plus!!!)
Nothing v cool recently except that I convinced ah yue to start her BUJO again (actually I just said let’s do it regularly! and she said ok! hahaha.) I shall also write in it regularly!